Quick Guide to Baby

I was talking with my brother and sister-in-law who are about to have their first baby and they mentioned that they wish there was a pamphlet for having a baby. The books out there are too long but everyone wants to be prepared. That gave me the idea for this blog post, a quick guide to what you need to know about having a baby.

First off, pack your hospital bag and make sure you have a car seat to bring baby home in. The hospital won't let you leave until they see you buckle that baby in and make sure it is securely fastened to the car.

Second, make sure you're registered at the hospital where you'll deliver. No one wants to have to register while in labor so make sure they've already created a file for you and have your insurance on record before you go. This is a great thing to do when you tour the hospital in the 3rd trimester.

Next, wait until those contractions start coming. Once they're coming often enough (your doctor should tell you what they recommend), head to the Labor & Delivery wing of the hospital you'll be delivering at. They should take it from there.

If your water breaks, you may feel (or even hear) a popping noise down there. When it happened for me it actually freaked me out because it was such a distinct pop, so just be aware in case it happens to you. Another great clue is that your pants will get wet. If your water breaks then head straight to the hospital.

While at the hospital they're going to see how much you're dilated and if you aren't very far they'll check you again in an hour. If there's been no progress they'll send you home (sorry). If you're progressing you'll get officially checked in.

If you're going to have an epidural, it'll happen sometime after you are officially checked in but (hopefully) before baby decides to come swimming out.

Now all that's left to do is ... wait? Yep, you'll be in labor anywhere from a few minutes to several hours. Occasionally someone will come in to check on you and see how you are dilating. If you have an epidural this may be a great time for a nap, relaxing music, or even doing makeup. If you don't have an epidural I'm sure you'll have plenty on your mind already.

Once you're fully dilated and baby has descended everyone comes in all gowned up and ready to go. They're gonna have you put your legs up in a squat position (except that you'll be laying in a bed) and when you feel a contraction you're gonna push for ten long long long seconds. It is exhausting. Try not to clinch your teeth or your mouth is gonna hurt, and I've heard it can actually bruise your face a bit.

If all goes well you'll have baby within an hour or so of pushing. You'll be overjoyed and thoroughly exhausted. Of course not everyone is like that, we all have heard those stories of someone pushing for 48 hrs. I hope and pray that isn't what happens to you.

If you get discouraged while pushing and worry that your baby may never come out, just remember, getting the head out is usually the hardest part. Once you've got that out the rest usually comes pretty quickly (although shoulders sometimes take some time).

Before you know it you'll have your beautiful baby cuddled on your chest for the very first time. You'll be overwhelmed with love and happiness. You or your significant other will probably cut the cord (or your might elect to leave it uncut for some time, talk with your doctor if you have questions about it). You might try out baby's name at this point, or you may decide you've got to rethink the name you chose. After a minute or two of cuddle time the pediatrician will come in to do an initial checkup (which they repeat 5-10 minutes later). You'll be separated from your precious child for a few minutes but they're just a few steps away and hopefully you'll have your baby back soon.

During this time you may have your attention brought back to your doctor as they help your body finish the birthing process. They're going to deliver the placenta which should be pretty painless and easy for you (it might even be done while you're cuddling with little one) and if you had any tearing or an episiotomy they'll sew you up now. If you had an epidural they can sew you up no problem, if you've been drug free until now they're going to numb the area with local anesthesia before stitching you up.

A breastfeeding specialist will come in within an hour to help you and baby have your first feeding experience. You may get it right away, or it may be really hard. Breastfeeding is where you learn that the expression "it's not worth crying over spilled milk" is very much incorrect. It's an emotional roller coaster that creates such a special bond for you and your child but may also cause you so much concern and worry if it doesn't go right. Don't stress too much. Give you and your baby time to adjust, and remember that the important thing is that your baby is fed so if you have to use some formula to make sure that happens then go for it.

They're going to ask you if you want to vaccinate your baby because the first Hep B shot can be given in the hospital. I always planned to vaccinate but suddenly with this brand new perfect little thing in my arms I was thinking, You're gonna poke her with needles already?? However we went for it and she's completely fine now four years later. This is just something to prepare yourself for because even if you have no qualms about vaccinations it can give you a moment of pause when you're holding your newborn on his or her first day of life.

Most insurances will only pay for you to stay in the hospital for two days so don't plan on being there very long. Some women don't sleep well in hospitals and choose to check themselves out as soon as the doctor okays it, others (like me with my first) want to stay where medical care is readily available as long as possible, just in case anything goes wrong. You'll be able to choose to have your baby in the nursery or in your own room. If you breastfeed they'll wake you in the night to feed, otherwise you'll get the last full night's sleep you're gonna have for weeks (or months possibly). Enjoy it and enjoy your baby.

This is just one scenario of course and your experience might be different, but hopefully this gives you an idea of what that day might be like so that you can prepare yourself a little bit more. If you still feel unprepared, now might be a good time to pick up a book on pregnancy and childbirth. If this is all you needed then good luck with your baby!

A few final things to note: You're going to be sore down there for a bit. Make sure if you have solid wood chairs (or any hard chairs) that you also have a pillow or padding to sit on because your bottom has just been through a lot and it's gonna hurt if you don't sit on something soft. Hemorrhoid pads are useful so don't be shy about having hubby go get some from the store. You can't wear tampons so make sure you have pads available. Also, your bladder has forgotten how to function so when you get the urge to pee you get yourself on the toilet ASAP, otherwise you might pee in your pants. Don't worry, your bladder remembers its job within a week and soon you'll have control again. It took your body 9 months to get to this point, so give yourself at least 6 weeks (if not 9 months) before you expect to be back to your normal pre-pregnancy self. If you're feeling depressed, angry, anxious, or anything that doesn't seem right please talk to your doctor. Not everyone feels the happy, blissful, overjoyed feelings we expect to feel and that's okay but it's important to get help. Reach out to your doctor for resources. And above all remember, this is a natural process and millions of people in the world have had babies just fine, you will too. If you don't know how to do something (like change a diaper or prepare a bottle) just ask someone. As long as you love your child, anyone can teach you the rest.